Trust His Heart

I sat down in the chair in my office this morning feeling overwhelmed with all that was running through my mind. Preparations to do, people to contact, plans for the future to implement, places to go, personal needs of those in the congregation that are numerous, the challenges faced by my own children, my utter sense of inadequacy in dealing with any of what faces me. It struck me that I should be constantly in a state of utter dependence, because the fact is that I am totally inadequate to do anything apart from the Lord's grace.

Psalm 135:5-6 caught my eye, "For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods. Whatever the Lord pleases, He does. In heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps." The first question I asked myself is, "Do I really believe this?" As I consider all that is going on in my life and in the world...the chaos, conflict, confusion, and corruption, do I truly believe that the Lord is Sovereign doing as He pleases? The second question I asked is, "Am I okay with what the Lord pleases to do?" My frail and fallen humanity questions God when I deal with people going in for cancer surgery, dealing with marital strife, losing loved ones at an early age. But the truth of Psalm 135:5-6 is the anchor that holds me firm in these storms of life--God is in Control--and I am called upon to trust Him. As the song writer states, "When I don't understand, when I can't trace His hand, trust His heart." And I only need to look to the Cross of Calvary to understand the Father's deep deep love and know that whatever "the Lord Pleases" and therefore does what seems other than "good" in my book is merely a problem that I have. For God is in control and He is truly at work to do what is best for His people even when what happens seems so utterly far from what we would call good. When I'm overwhelmed I am brought face to face with the reality of my humanity and need for dependence upon a Good and Gracious and Sovereign God. I can't and don't have to understand His ways, I only need to trust His heart.

Father, I do believe, I only ask that you would help me in my unbelief.

A Heart Like Hezekiah

Yesterday I was convicted of my own struggles to remain completely focused on the Lord in every aspect of my life, to yield absolute control to the Lord, to turn away from any and every form of Idolatry. I saw in the Kings of Israel complete rebellion and in some of the Kings of Judah commitment to the Lord that was less than absolute. As I read 2Kings 18 a "diamond in the rough" appears in the person of Hezekiah. His father was one of the worst Kings of Judah (Ahaz) and yet we read that Hezekiah "did right in the sight of the Lord...He removed the high places and broke down the sacred pillars..." (2Kings 18:3-4). He was a King who trusted fully in the Lord, "so that after him there was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor month those who were before him" (2Kings 18:5). The next verse is the crown jewel description of Hezekiah and serves as a prize that every child of God would want to possess. "For he clung to the Lord; he did not depart from following Him, but kept His commandments, which the Lord had commanded Moses" (vs.6).

All I can say is, "Lord give me a heart like Hezekiah, a heat that is totally sold out for you. Lord, please reveal anything that rivals you in my life so that I can repent and remain true to you.

Divided Loyalty

For many who read the Bible the only sections more difficult to trudge through than the genealogies are those that contain the records of the rise and fall of the various kings in Israel and Judah. I've been reading through 1 and 2 Kings recently and there is no shortage of Kings who reigned in Israel and Judah for a certain number of years. Many are sons of the former King, some took their throne by force, others were forced into the throne. What we do know is that NONE of the Kings of Israel--Northern Tribes--was good. In fact, most of them "did evil in the sight of the Lord;" and "did not turn away from the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat..." (2King 13:11). Jeroboam promoted idolatry in Israel making two golden calves declaring, "behold your gods, O Israel, that brought you up from the land of Egypt" (1Kings 12:28). He placed one of the calves at Dan and the other at Bethel so that the people would not go down to Jerusalem to worship. He instituted blatant idolatry which his successors continued. But there were some good Kings in Judah (the southern tribes). Recently I was struck by the fact that within the span of four chapters (2Kings 12-15) there were three of these Kings about which it is written that they "did right in the sight of the Lord...Only the high places were not taken away; the people still sacrificed and burned incense on the high places" (2Kings 12:2-3; 14:3-4; 15:34-35). While this repetition can seem like just another instance of God's people living in rebellion (and it is that for sure), it caught my attention because I saw that these were very good kings, but they were divided in their loyalty. They meant well, they were seeking to please God, they were to be commended for their steadfastness. Yet they had a serious flaw--a divided heart. For some reason they just couldn't bring the people to cut all ties with idolatry, with pagan rituals, and serve the true God wholeheartedly.

As I was on my morning walk mulling this around in my brain, it struck me that I have behaved just like these kings. I have been seeking the Lord, trying to live for Him, serving Him for many years and yet, there have been various idols/idolatrous practices that I have been slow to eradicate from my life. I began to think about my life and the "high places" that I have "sacrificed to and burned incense on." There was my penchant for collecting farm toys, my love of sports (participating and watching) and the effort put into seeing that my children succeeded (at least in part it was a quest for me to gain approval vicariously through them--yeah, I know it is not pretty), a desire to own property (I went to a farm auction once, but the bidding quickly went beyond my resources) that for a while preoccupied my thoughts, and other things that stood/stand in the way of whole-hearted devotion to the Lord.

It was a sobering walk as I saw in my heart idols that I had/have not fully eliminated. So it was time to confess my sin and rejoice in God's gracious forgiveness and mercy. I know the battle still rages for unswerving devotion to the Lord and I'm thankful for the message of 2Kings in these verses that remind me that it's possible to do what is right in the sight of the Lord and still have strongholds of sin that need to be eradicated.

Converting Terrorists

I was challenged recently by a message I heard from 1Timothy chapter one. Listen to the apostle Paul's own self analysis from verse 15. "It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all." By all standards Paul was as hostile towards Christianity as any modern day terrorist. He gave hearty approval when Stephen was stoned (Acts 8:1). From that time on a great persecution of the church took place. Acts 8:3 says, "But Saul began ravaging the church, entering house after house, and dragging off men and women, he would put them in prison." It is this violent persecutor of the church to whom God extended His mercy. God did this so that Paul would be a prime example of God's great grace. Paul's conversion to Christianity is an amazing testimony to the power of the Gospel to save. Our underestimation of the power of the Gospel keeps us from sharing it boldly, freely, simply. We either believe we must alter it to make it more palatable and acceptable or we simply do not share it at all. I'm convicted that i am not more bold to interject the truth of the Gospel into my everyday conversations with greater frequency. I was challenged to think about the person I believed to be most unlikely to become a believer. Is the Gospel powerful enough to reach that person? Of course. The Gospel is powerful enough to reach the most vile of sinners. Dare I forget how rebellious I am at the core and God saved me? So I'm thinking about the power of the Gospel (Romans 1;16-17) and the need I have to share the Gospel more freely and more simply. I cannot reach people for Christ. I can only bring Christ to people and God will do His work in them. So I'm asking what I can do to get close to the people in my sphere of influence who are hostile to the Gospel. What steps will I take personally to get close to those who so desperately need God's mercy. I'm praying for boldness, open doors, open hearts of those who hear, and for me to open my mouth with the powerful Gospel.