God's Mercy

Just came off of a difficult wrestling match. No, I'm not in mid-life crisis trying to relive my youth by joining a wrestling club. My match was with the Lord. I'm not just getting older, I'm getting more foolish. Wrestling with the Lord??? Of course, I was wrestling with the Lord--my fallen nature wrestling with my new nature as redeemed in Christ. I had sinned and felt rather justified in my behavior. I reasoned that I had a right to be angry and to deal with the situation as I had in light of someone else's activity. It is the very kind of thing that Paul describes in Romans 7:14-25 when he says, "For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish" (7:19). If you are truly a child of God by grace through faith in Christ and if you are really honest you have also engaged in this futile wrestling match with the Lord. After a couple of days of fuming and feeling very self-righteous about it all, the Lord began to chip away at the wall of pride that I had erected to protect myself from having to admit that I really had sinned, that I was not in communion with the Lord, that I could continue in my current state to my own detriment. Pride is a very stubborn guest and does not leave without being thrown out of our lives. As I confessed and repented of my sin I felt as if I were dying and it was excruciatingly painful to let go of all of my rationalizations and justifications and focus on the reality of my own depravity in isolation from any other person involved in the situation. As the Lord did His surgery to extract my pride and refusal to acknowledge my own sinfulness before Him, a burden was lifted (See Psalm 32). Once I went to the offended party, confessed my sin and asked for forgiveness I was restored to fellowship with the Lord. This incident gave me a window into the depth of wickedness still present within me. I did see a wretched man longing to be delivered from "this body of death" (Romans 7) but was also reminded of God's mercy. "..You our God have requited us less than our iniquities deserve and have given us an escaped remnant" (Ezra 9:13). As Ezra leads a group of former exiles back to Jerusalem to re-establish the worship of God he is made aware of the wickedness of those left in Jerusalem who have intermarried. Ezra's statement in 9:13 and in 9:15 speak of God's mercy that does not give us what we fully deserve. God often treats us much better than our sinful lives deserve. Lord, help us to see more fully the extent of our depravity and appreciate more completely your great mercy. Lord help me to treat others with the same sort of mercy that you have extended to me.